On Friday night I saw the movie Valentine's Day with three of my friends. Two of them coupled, two of us single, as we settled into the theater we observed two patterns. First, we saw pockets of teen-to-twenty-something girls, racked with giggles in anticipation of potential scenes with Taylor Lautner, shirtless. And second, we noticed that most of the men in the theater were resisting the movie with their body language, crossed arms, head leaning in hands, as though they were only there because their girlfriends had predictably dragged them for two hours of Bradley Cooper eye candy.
After reading the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, my expectations were low, but I was pleasantly surprised that the movie was not your typical terrible Ashton Kutcher romantic comedy. It was a typical terrible Ashton Jutcher romantic comedy, infused with Superbad and a touch of The Hangover, complete with horrible acting from Taylor Swift and an obligatory all-girls (and Jamie Foxx) Gloria Gaynor "I Will Survive" sing-along.
Yes, random. And entertaining. And almost makes you forget that society has shaped Valentine's Day into a holiday about lovers. According to the Huffington Post there are three legends surrounding the inception of Valentine's Day, all that revolve around a man named St. Valentine. Like most United States holidays, it is steeped with history and tradition, but most of that has been lost as big business has worked hard to make it a day about red and pink, flowers and chocolates and heart shaped everything.
Valentine's Day has also evolved into an exclusive holiday - one where if you aren't married, engaged, or in a serious, committed relationship, the day holds all sorts of awkward and painful connotations. Single women are afraid to fly solo to dinner or movies, out of fear of being the only lone soldier in a field full of couples. Some people refer to it as "Singles Awareness Day" and in 2007 MSNBC reported that anti-Valentine's Day cards are on the rise.
Well, ladies? We'll never really know whether the history of Valentine's Day is accurate. Maybe St. Valentine was actually a player, who kept a girlfriend in every city and a wife in the suburbs who did his laundry. Maybe he was there is a fourth legend out there that says Valentine's Day is supposed to be about the ones you love, whether they be friends, family - or even just yourself.
So, in the spirit of enjoying Valentine's Day this year, whether you're spending it in bed with your sweetheart or alone in a two-star diner, here are some dos and don'ts for Valentine's Day. Thy will help take the pressure off February 14 and let you treat yourself, because after all, you're number 1.
Photo: Blisstree.com
1. DO: Send yourself flowers. Or chocolates. Or cupcakes, pictured above. These beauties are made with PAMA Pomegranate Liquor. Send them to your home so that you'll have a cheerful package to look forward to, or to your office if you want to elicit the jealousy of your coworkers and cubicle mates. For some other unique ideas, check out my Valentine's Day gift guide on Chicago Now.
2. DO: Cook dinner for your friends. On Saturday, on Sunday. There's nothing so bad about Valentine's Day that a little vino and a heaping dish of roasted vegetable lasagna won't cure. And if any of your girls are still stuck to the idea that Valentine's Day is their own personal hell, make them a flourless chocolate cake. It will solve everything.
3. DO NOT: Under any circumstances, accept a blind date. This should require no explanation. Just trust me.
4. DO: Hit the gym. I'll be at my favorite kickboxing class on Sunday at noon, as if it were any other day. The endorphins that you get from exercising will put you in a good mood, no matter how many schmoopy couples you encounter on the way home.
5. DO: Spend the day with children. It's hard not to smile at the innocence of a second-grader attempting to cut a misshapen heart from construction paper with safety scissors. If you don't have kids, nieces or nephews of your own, borrow a friend's for a few hours. They'll probably be glad to hand them over (as long as you ask permission first).
6. DO NOT: Be afraid to venture out in public. Seriously, the single people are all out there, just like they were they day before, the day before that and so on. Bonus: It's easier to get a table for one at a restaurant, so give it a shot and you might actually have a good time.
7: DO: Avoid Facebook. If you're prone to ex-boyfriend stalking, reading wall posts from his new girlfriend who "loves him so much xoxoxo" will not help. Neither will clicking through most of his female friends whose names you don't recognize to look for evidence that she is the new leading lady in his life. Seriously, it's over. Just move on. And stay offline until Monday.(But if you happen to cheat, feel free to become a fan of In Good Taste on Facebook!)
8. DO NOT: Forget your real loved ones on Valentine's Day. Send a funny card to your recently divorced Uncle Jim and if great-aunt Susie is in a nursing home or assisted-care facility, send her something sweet. And guys: remember that mom will always be your Valentine!
9. DO: Indulge a little. Valentine's Day is meant to be a festive day (thanks, Hallmark!) no matter who you're spending it with. Take a bubble bath, book yourself a mani/pedi or pick up a pint of your favorite frozen yogurt and don't feel guilty if you polish off the whole thing.
10. DO: Remember that it's only one day a year. February 14 will come and go, but you have 364 other days to show the people you care about that you love them.
This is a great post.I enjoyed reading it and I think other readers might enjoy reading it as well.I will definitely follow those do's and dont's especially the number 7..:)
Posted by: send flowers Philippines | June 17, 2010 at 09:59 PM
This was the perfect post for Valentine's Day. And I'm pretty sure I followed most of those Do's and Don'ts...
I saw that movie recently with a friend too and also went in with extremely low expectations but was pleasantly surprised. And Bradley Cooper usually doesn't disappoint. ;-)
Posted by: Chrissy | February 28, 2010 at 11:32 AM
Even when I'm single, I still really enjoy Valentine's Day! This was a really nice post (and I'm glad I'm not the only one who enjoyed this movie) with some cute ideas for those who are not so keen on the holiday ;)
Posted by: kellieatsforfun | February 21, 2010 at 03:12 AM
singles awareness day? that's hilarious. i personally think of it as all-you-can-eat chocolate day, and that suits me just fine. :)
thanks for the encouraging, laughter-inducing post, maris!
Posted by: grace | February 18, 2010 at 06:41 AM
I have been wondering about that movie - maybe I will wait until it comes out on DVD! To me, Valentine's Day has always been about celebrating my love for sweets and sharing them with my friends. ;)I am married now, but still look at it that way.
Posted by: FatFighterTV | February 16, 2010 at 01:16 PM
I actually loved this post. i took your advice and splurged at the mall today-for myself for a change!While at the mall I filled in sweepstakes entry blanks at Macys for Valentines Day they had prizes and I just got the call that I won a basket of goodies. Happy valentines day to me!!!
Posted by: Daryl | February 14, 2010 at 07:54 PM
Great post! Took your advice and worked out this morning. Can't seem to get out of dinner with my parents who are pitying their poor, single daughter and insisted I go out to eat with them. Personally, I would've been fine with delivery and something chocolate!
Posted by: Jackie | February 14, 2010 at 03:32 PM
Such a great post, Maris! As a happily "coupled" person, I am not a fan of V-Day. I think I'll send myself some flowers ;)
Posted by: Kristen | February 14, 2010 at 03:22 PM
Some great tips there! As a singleton on Valentines Day, I wish I'd read it sooner.
Not that I've not had a good day. I've spent it in bed, drinking wine and watching chick-flicks, while looking for a Valentines gift for myself online. The PERFECT day. And without a guy to ruin it for me, :)
Posted by: Paula | February 14, 2010 at 02:07 PM
loved this post!! as a single lady, I'm well versed in indulging myself (wait..that kind of sounds dirty :/ ) so, today, I'm going shopping and splurging a little on some spring clothing.
Posted by: thatShortChick | February 14, 2010 at 12:55 PM
Happy Valentine's Day! I love your list.
Posted by: Megan | February 13, 2010 at 09:27 PM
Even though I am not single, I enjoyed this post. I've never been a big fan of Valentines Day whether single or taken. I don't think people need to make it a big deal. I say no matter what your situation is, you should be proud and go out with your head held high.
Posted by: barbara | February 13, 2010 at 07:16 PM
What a fabulous post. When I was a 20 something my friend and I use to sit year after year in the bar/restaurant watching the guys walk by with flowers and we use to wonder when our day would come. It came and trust me-it was no big deal.
Posted by: Daryl | February 13, 2010 at 04:15 PM
Sigh. I love this post. Perfect guide for the single gal. My friends and I are embracing our single-ness and going out for dinner together! I think it's going to be awesome. (Note - glass is half full :P)
Posted by: Joanne | February 13, 2010 at 02:30 PM
Great post!
Also, I bought myself flowers last night on my way home from work :)
Posted by: Lexi | February 13, 2010 at 11:52 AM